Where is the ME in Me?
I believe everyone has a kind of duality to their self-identity.
I suspect that this is the result of, at a very primal level, our anatomical bilateral symmetry. Our brain, as with most of our body form, is bilaterally symmetrical. There is a left side and a right side. The brain has two sides or hemispheres which communicate back and forth across a structure called the corpus callosum.
Globally, we refer to the brain and all the thoughts there within as the mind. Sort of like a computer's operating system. The brain is the organic structure and the mind is the thoughts or pattern of electro-chemical impulses that are contained within. Different parts of our brains are prioritized to handle specific tasks for our minds. Left or right-handedness, vision, speech, music, sense of balance, proprioception, heart rate, breathing …
Many of these tasks are handled by different parts of our brain and yet the coordination of all this takes place in that one place we call our mind. On a conscious level, we can voluntarily control parts of our body like holding our breath for a period of time. But eventually, we have to "let go" and hand control back over to those autonomic parts of our brain. We do not need to consciously think about each and every breath we take or how to maintain our balance with each and every step we take. There are parts of our "mind" where we have a conscious connection and there are parts where we can only submit requests. Like concentrating on a particular thought or idea. So then, who is the ME who is in control of ME? Who is making the request and who is accepting the request? And, above that, this is only asking about the control of our body. Not our thoughts.
I now believe there are times when different parts of our minds, take on different identities. Almost as if there are separate identities existing within our brain. If I decide to write a story, I choose the theme, the characters, and the setting. I begin the story, and I decide on the plot and how the story will end. I have complete control and there is no way I can be surprised about how the story ends because I am writing the story as I create it. I can go back and make changes, but it is \still the story I am creating. So, just as in writing a story, when I dream, the entire dream is created and constructed by my imagination. There is no going back and changing parts because the dream is "experienced" as a play one time only story. It is a story, written in real-time and experienced by me. The same me who is telling the story. So if I am creating that story, the dream, then how can I possibly be surprised by anything that happens in the dream? I am the writer, producer, director, and audience all in one. And yet, I can still be surprised by events in my dreams. So then, who is the Me in Me? Who is creating the dream and who is experiencing the dream? And which one remembers the dream?
Or how about this? I decide that today is the day I need to go shopping for groceries. I make a mental note of what I need. I get in the car. I go shopping. Come home. Start putting stuff away when suddenly I discover I have forgotten to pick up something. Then I'll say out loud, "Damn it! I forgot to get milk!" But, if I'm alone in the house, WHO am I talking to? Why do I need to verbalize anything? I could just as easily, and quietly, think to myself I should have made a written list and brought that with me to the store. But instead, I needed to say it out loud to myself, and often with conviction. Why? Is there another, separate part of my identity (like a roommate) with \whom I share my mind?
So then, my question is this. Where is or who is the ME, I identify as me? The answer to questions such as this is, perhaps, unknowable.
